


HAL Meets Some Rednecks

by Reyapet



Category: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 10:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16890444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyapet/pseuds/Reyapet
Summary: A short dialogue piece about HAL meeting a few rednecks.





	HAL Meets Some Rednecks

**Author's Note:**

> Rated T+ for like one curse word.
> 
> *previously posted on various blogs of mine over the years, but now I'm consolidating on AO3*

“Whatcha got there, Steve?”

“Well, Joe, I’m actually not too sure.”

“This is your house, ain’t it?”

“Yep.”

“But you don’t know what that is?”

“Nope.”

“…”

“Maybe I could ask Gwen.”

“I think that might be a good idea, Steve, seein’ as how we ain’t got no clue what’s goin’ on here.”

“Do you really think she would?”

“Would what?”

“Know what’s goin’ on.”

“Shit, I don’t know.  No harm in askin’ though, right?”

“Yeah, I s’pose so.”

“So ask her.”

“Hey Gwen!”

“Yeah?”

“Could ya come over here for a sec?”

“What d'ya need?”

“Do ya know what that is?”

“Ya mean you don’t?”

“No, and neither does Joe here.”

“…”

“So what is it?”

“It’s a computer, Steve.”

“When did we get a computer?”

“I dunno, it came in the mail today.”

“And you opened it?”

“Well, it was addressed to us, so yeah, I opened it.”

“And…?”

“And what?  He said his name was Hal.”

“He?  Hal?  If I remember what I’ve heard about these god-awful machines, they don’t generally have names.  Or genders.”

“Well, this one does.  He told me his name was Hal.”

“Okay, now I know you’re goin nutso.  Machines don’t talk.”

“Yeah, Gwen, quit yankin' our chains.”

“HELLO GWEN.  SO NICE TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN.”

“…”

“Hello, Hal.  I’d like you to meet my technophobe of a husband, Steve, and his equally technophobic buddy, Joe.”

“What’s with all them big words, Gwen?  When did you start talking like that?”

“HELLO STEVE.  HELLO JOE.  GWEN HAS SPOKEN HIGHLY OF YOU BOTH.  IT IS NICE TO MEET YOU.”

“…”

“I can talk any damn way I want!  So what if Hal taught me some new words to add to my vocabulary?  It was lacking.”

“Well, I don’t like you talkin' like that.  And I don’t like that computer.  It’s gotta go.”

“Well, if yer wantin' to get rid of Hal so much, you can do it yourself.  I like him.”

“Alright Hal, let’s take a trip to the garbage can.”

“I’M SORRY, STEVE.  I AM AFRAID I CAN’T LET YOU DO THAT.”


End file.
